Man tips for all women

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Ugly Bat Boy – Kat of Everzwijn?

Ugly Bat Boy is de niet onterechte naam van dit schepsel, dat een kaal kattenachterlijf combineert met harige manen. De kat is een toeristische attractie geworden in het Amerikaanse stadje Stratham, waar het beest woont in een veeartsenpraktijk.
Omdat er zoveel bezorgde vragen binnenrolden, heeft het personeel zelfs een bordje met een streepje uitleg voorzien. Daarbij leggen de veeartsen uit dat de kat niet ziek is, maar gewoon lelijk.

Bekijk het hier :

Westerse hypocrisie – jong geleerd is …

Sexistisch maar hard en heerlijk waar!

Soms is de waarheid harder dan men zou willen. Verzetten heeft geen zin omdat het nu eenmaal zo is. Controleren heeft geen zin, manipuleren nog minder! Kijk voor jezelf…

Straf schrijven op z’n nerd’s

Sollicitatiebrief aan McDonalds

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida . . . And they hired him, because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash
[SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.]
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is “felony” sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
[DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.]
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE
BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.]

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

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[Bracketed lines indicate entries from variant versions not present in the original.]

Computers contrast

In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:

The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.

Drink & Drive

Lees elke regel en begrijp waarom je geen alcohol mag drinken en rijden.

En toen was er een bottleneck!

The force!